Mukkefuck Cafe

Happy Birthday to my Elijah Bean

I know...I have just barely decided to return to blogging, and I am about to disappear, again. This time doesn't have as much to do with my own lunacy (although it  *is* a little bit crazy)! I am going to attempt to catch a hop to the states with all four of my kiddos on Wednesday. (and Thursday and/or Friday, if Wednesday doesn't work out).

For those of you who have NO idea what I am talking about, I will explain. One of the benefits of being military and also being stationed overseas is that we can catch VERY low cost flights on military planes. The downside of that is that you can only fly in and out of military bases. The upside of that (for me, anyway) is that my family lives just a stone's throw away from one. Or two or three;)

Aside from our moves across the ocean (which total THREE, so far!) I have always taken hops home so that my family could know my kids. It is cool that my third born son can say that he was only eight months old, the first time he flew in a C-5:) It's a far cry from First Class (or even "Economy Class") but you can't beat $3.75 for a trans Atlantic flight!

In  other news, my lastest baby turns five (FIVE!?!) tomorrow. We celebrated in Saturday with a few close friends. And pizza. And cake:) He is really such a cool little kid. Every little thing just makes him insanely happy. He is the polar opposite of me, and I love him for that:)

It is still hard to believe that my little (SURPRISE!)* miracle was born five, whole years ago! It is hard to really comprehend where all of these years have gone!

*I will close this post with a PSA. Breastfeeding is NOT a reliable form of birth control. After three pregnancies, you would think that I might have taken that a little more seriously...but "it has worked with the previous two, so why wouldn't it work this time???" does NOT mean that it will work again. Ethan was only eight months old and still being exclusively breastfed when his brother was conceived. Ethan was eleven months old when I found out that my preferred form of birth control had failed me. I will never forget how I felt when I went in for my ultrasound to date the pregnancy. I expected to see a little gummi bear bouncing around in there...but was instead greeted by the grainy image of his big ol' thirteen week old noggin. I was shocked, for sure...but if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing.

Sleep Disorders

When I first started blogging in the summer of 2005, my original intent was to tell stories about my life. It was a good idea, but there were only so many stories to tell. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I am going to be re-posting some of my favorites from that time. For your reading pleasure is my original and unedited post from 29 July, 2005.

OK...let me start by telling you, my faithful reader, that sleeping in the same bed with That Guy I Married has often been more of an adventure in bizarre sleeping mishaps than I care to even think about.

One night, about 8 months into my 4th pregnancy, I was sleeping the broken, uncomfy slumber of the Heavily Pregnant. I was jolted awake my my darling husband. He sat straight up in the bed as though he had been bitten by a snake, or something. The next thing I know, I hear the tell tale sound of someone getting ready to hock a loogey. You know the sound...

Thinking to myself, GREAT! He is gonna hork all over the bed and I was trying to recall if he had consumed any alcohol or eaten anything that might have made him ill. It all happened so fast, that I am surely leaving out some details...but the next thing that happened is almost unspeakable. He SPIT on me. That's right, my dear reader...That Guy I Married *SPIT* right on me! In my sleep induced stupor, which quickly turned to rage when I realized what had happened to me, I uttered something to the effect of GAWD! You just SPIT on me! Then I hit him. I hit him HARD. He said something like WHA the FUH?!? I told him what he had just DONE to me and then he had the audacity to tell me that NO, he could NOT have spit on me because he was SLEEPING. I proceeded to wipe him down with his own saliva. I was SEETHING by this point...then he started to laugh. It was a psychotic and scary laugh. A *DARK* laugh. I asked him what he thought was so GOD DAMNED funny...and then he told me about this dream he was having. Apparently he dreamt that he was atop the Sears Tower with our two daughters. He was giving them the Fatherly Lesson of Spitting From a Rooftop. I guess our bed was the Sears Tower...and I was the poor schmuck who had the misfortune of walking by at the Wrong Moment.

I am sure that you, my dear reader, will hear many more tales of our Nighttime Mishaps...because there are many, MANY more. And know that while I am dreaming my little dreams at night...I always have one eye open...

ripple

If this past week has proved anything, it is that I can't not blog. Thoughts just whirl around inside my head, and I have no receptacle in which to dump them. I have decided to re-post some of my favorite, old posts before I move on. It feels so weird to go from several hundred posts to just two...but I kind of like the clean slate. Thanks for sticking with me and welcome back:)

This list was originally posted on 10 September, 2005. I am not going to edit a thing.

1. I was born in Carlisle, PA in 1973

2. This is the third time in my life that I have lived in Germany

3. I used to be thin, before I had four kids

4. I am totally hung up on old punk music...I just can't get into the new stuff

5. Scary movies really do scare me

6. It is odd, but my hair was naturally blonde when I was a teenager. I started dying it red, and now my natural hair color is kind of a light auburn color

7. I have 5 tattoos, all done by the same artist

8. Bananas make me want to puke

9. I have never owned my own home

10. I want to be a certified nurse midwife when I grow up

11. I am a total animal lover, and at one point in my life I shared a one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend, a dog, two cats, an iguana, 2 Senegal chameleons, some fish, 2 cages full of fancy rats, an African Grey parrot, 4 breeding pairs of lovebirds, a sun conure, a breeding pair of cockatiels, a pair of doves and a baby cockatiel

12. The only states I have not been to are Hawaii and Alaska

13. I am petrified of spiders

14. My favorite color is blue...almost any shade, but I like the darker shades the best

15. I drive a minivan (I never thought I would see the day...I am so ashamed)

16. I love photography...it has been a hobby of mine since I was in high school

17. At one time, I could play the clarinet, violin, flute, guitar, harmonica and piano

18. I love to swim naked

19. I was a licensed cosmetologist when I graduated from high school

20. I was a nanny in the Florida Keys for a summer

21. I have only truly been in love twice in my life

22. I always knew I would be a Mom

23. I love camping and rock climbing

24. I think that firing a handgun is empowering

25. I wish that all gang bangers would drop off the face of the Earth

26. I want to be cremated when I die and have my ashes spread at Cougar Hot Springs in Oregon

27. I have never ridden an elephant nor would I like to

28. Clowns scare me...a LOT

29. I am fairly certain that I have OCD

30. I have almost no artistic talent whatsoever

31. I will never forget Mrs. Drake, my high school English teacher

32. I love reading

33. I wanted to have natural, home births with all four of my pregnancies, but ended up with four c-sections instead

34. Fall is my favorite season

35. Kitchen gadgets make me happy

36. So do scented candles

37. I love the beach

38. I would love to have a vegetable garden, but do NOT have a green thumb

39. I used to have my head shaved

40. The only piercings I have are in my ears

41. I am afraid of needles

42. I only ever got one wisdom tooth, my mom had three, I got the one she didn't have, and my sister never had any!

43. I have hitchhiked across the USA more than once

44. I was a vegetarian when I was younger

45. My parents are still married to each other

46. I am horrible at managing money

47. And time

48. I have had the same best friend since I was 11

49. I do not own a bicycle

50. I love roller coasters

51. I do not like to be dizzy

52. Amaretto and Coke is my favorite mixed drink

53. I love to cook...and am actually pretty good at it

54. I am double jointed in my left thumb

55. I get to give That Guy I Married a shot every night

56. I do no paint my fingernails, or my toenails

57. I do not wax or tweeze my eyebrows

58. I HAVE to shower every day

59. I do not dress up...EVER

60. I do not own a single bit of makeup

61. My favorite shoes are my Doc Marten boots

62. I like zany socks

63. I am addicted to ebay

64. I love shopping on the German economy

65. I had surgery to repair an umbilical hernia when I was 3

64. I save all of my change in an old Jack Daniels decanter

65. I am horrible at math

66. My favorite flowers are tulips, lillies and dahlias

67. I don't dance

68. I collect polish pottery, trinket boxes and glass bottles

70. The only magazines we subscribe to are National Geographic and Discovery

71. I have had the opportunity to swim with dolphins

72. I have been SCUBA diving

73. And parasailing

74. I do NOT like bridges

75. The best breakfast I have ever eaten was prepared for me in Macon, Georgia by a sweet, old black lady at a soup kitchen

76. I believe in God

77. Rolling down a big, grassy hill makes me feel free

78. I love the smell of wood smoke

79. I originally planned to homeschool my children, but am glad that I enrolled them in school

80. Freshly brewed green tea, slightly sweetened and served cold is my favorite non-alcoholic beverage

81. I sing when I am alone in the car

82. I laugh at people who sing while they're alone in their cars:)

83. I have a HORRIBLE temper

84. I also have a good sense of humor

85. Hearing my children laugh is my favorite sound

86. Scrabble is my favorite board game

87. I am a really sore loser

88. My dream is to have a log home in Montana with a ton of land, a huge garden and lots of animals

89. I can not touch the end of my nose with my tongue...and yes, I just tried it to see;)

90. I would like to believe that I am witty, but really, I think I am just a smart ass

91. I love my Dad more than he will ever know

92. I don't wear any jewelry

93. My dad made sure I knew how to change a tire and my own oil before I was allowed to get my driver's license

94. I played the role of Kate in "The Pirates of Penzance" when I was in the 5th grade

95. I have never been hospitalized for an injury

96. I love riding motorcycles

97. I followed the Grateful Dead for more than a year and never even saw them play

98. I have never broken a bone

99. I am horrible at writing letters...I am sure that my Grandparents think I hate them! I just DON'T write letters

100. I can't raise just one eyebrow

should I stay or should I go, now???

I am not sure where I am going with this, yet. All I know is that I can't keep going the same direction I have been.

I have made it no secret that I have become quite jaded about my online life. It all started with the complete dissolution of a group that formed when we were all pregnant together...more than five years ago. While I am glad to be free of that yoke (I still have contact with those whom I have chosen to remain in contact with), the whole fiasco really clouded my online experience.

I have also seen too many people have their words, their images and for some, even their lives "stolen". I don't want to expose my family to that risk, any more than I already have.

I am also not sure I want to share so much of myself on the interweb, anymore. This place has become way too comfortable for me...and so I was maybe sharing just a tad more than I needed to. When my mom caught wind of my latest gripe (and as far as I knew, she wasn't even aware that this place existed) I had mostly decided to save all of my old posts and either start fresh or fade away.

That is where I am, right now. standing at the crossroad, not sure which way I want to go.

However this all ends up, I want to say thanks to those of you who have made this journey with me...and who have allowed me to travel with you on yours.