The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel...

Originally posted on August 7, 2005.

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you a double feature. A tale told by two idiots. Probably full of sound and fury...and definitely signifying nothing.

OK...today's tale is, to me, a tragedy...but I am sure that some of you will see humor in it. Let me start by introducing the characters. You already know me, and That Guy I Married.

Next, I will introduce Nathan. He was from a very upper middle class family in Northern Virginia. He rebelled against all of that by trying way to hard to be a cool hippie sort of guy. I lost touch with him some 10 years ago, but am fairly certain he ultimately settled in Albuquerque with a Massage Therapist by the name of Rainbow or Fruit Bat or something. Of most significance to my story, he was the owner of the van that we inhabited at the time.

Then there was Todd. We were on our way to the West Coast from the East Coast, and stopped in Albuquerque on the way as Nathan had some friends there. We were passing time in a park when I first met Todd. That Guy I Married was amusing himself with a balloon or some such nonsense, Nathan was busy trying to look as cool as a guy in a skirt could look...and I was people watching. Todd approached me, immediately confused me...and then proceeded to charm the socks right off my feet. He came up and simply said "Did it hurt?" I responded with "HUH?" And he said, "When you fell...did it hurt??" Still not knowing what in the world he was talking about, he eluded to my being an angel that must have dropped right out of the sky. I immediately loved him. Of all the people we met during our time On The Road, Todd is one of the rare ones who we remained in contact with. He was much more than a friend. He was a brother to me.

Next, I will introduce you to the Main Character. Her full name was 10,000 Upside Down, Screaming, Yakking Trees...but we called her Kitty-Kitty for short. We picked her up as a stray at a gas station somewhere in the South Eastern United States. She was a very tiny and very cute Calico Kitten. She was well cared for in my charge. I saw to it that she was dewormed and well fed...and even provided her with a litter box, despite the fact that we live in an van. I wore cut off cargo pants most of the time...and she would ride in my pocket, so we would not have to leave her alone in the van if we had to run into a store or something.

There were a few other players in this drama...but I will leave them Nameless...mostly because I do not remember their names anymore. I will just call them Seattle Guy, Girlfriend and Ex-Babysitter.

So...we headed up the West Coast. For any of you who have not made this journey...I highly recommend it. Nathan had some old friends in Seattle, and he wanted to pay them a visit. We met up with them at Seattle Guy's house. He actually lived in his father's basement with his Girlfriend. They were nice enough people...but not necessarily the type who you would imagine hanging out with Punk Rockers or Dead Heads. Wanting to show us a good time while in Their Fair City, they took us to one of their favorite pubs...which was not the type of establishment where you would expect to see Punk Rockers or Dead Heads. I recall it being called the Flower Pub or something like that. Anyway...we were met by many of their friends and acquaintances there...and were treated to many pitchers of Seattle's Finest Microbrew. At some point, this girl came on the scene. Apparently she was Nathan's Ex-Babysitter...and he immediately got it into his little mind that he needed to fulfill some sort of sick childhood fantasy by banging her on that very night.

Once we had consumed enough alcohol to be asked to leave the Flowery Pub Place, we returned to Seattle Guy's basement. I recall more alcohol being served...specifically vodka. (are you noticing yet another common theme??) heh

The merriment continued into the wee hours...Todd would burst out of the Way Cool Game Room, via the saloon style doors, whistling the theme to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly...Nathan was busy trying to get into Ex-Babysitter's pants...and me and That guy I Married just laughed...and laughed. I guess once Ex-Babysitter had become intoxicated enough to think that having sex with a smelly guy in a skirt seemed like a Good Plan...Nathan wanted us outta there. Me and That Guy I Married were booted from the house under the accusation of making Too Much Noise. So...we went to the van. Me, That Guy I Married and Kitty, Kitty. Taking full advantage of the Alone Time, we decided to engage in some gratuitous relations of our own...and then proceeded to pass out.

Upon awaking...I was shocked and completely horrified to find my beloved Kitty UNDERNEATH That Guy I Married. She had passed on to that Golden Box of Catnip in the Sky. She was gone. In short...he SMOOSHED my cat.

There has been much argument over the years as to what really happened to my Kitty...but the evidence kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it??

Comments

[Angela]

I guess then that I both think and feel because this story always makes me laugh and feel sad at the same time.