i know that all three of my faithful readers are wondering about my crappy and cryptic posts this weekend. i don't feel like it would be fair to the other party involved to give all of the details of what's going on because it would just further prove that i am a selfish person who thinks of no one but themselves. yeah.
so, what i will tell you is this. that guy i married and i had a pretty big fight this weekend. what started out as me trying to work out the logistics of an insanely busy weekend with the kids turned into a decade of insensitivity and selfishness on my part.
i am not going to even try to pretend that i am blameless in all of this, because it simply isn't true. what is true is that i refuse to shoulder all of the blame, which is what i feel is being expected of me.
i have always sucked at interpersonal relations. i have one true friend who has been a constant in my life since we were 11...but other than that i leave a wake of destruction behind me. this is my deal...i am fiercely loyal until one screws me over...then i am done. i absolutely suck at forgiveness and i never, ever forget. so there you have it; it really IS me. normal people have a disagreement and promptly get over it. i, on the other hand am haunted by things that have happened a lifetime (or less) ago.
this weekend's confrontation came completely out of left field and i am still so, so angry that i don't know what i should be doing about it. we haven't really spoken to each other since saturday. our few brief communications have been via e-mail. i am not really sure where to go from where we are, right now...but i do know that i can not stay in this place for long. it is almost unbearable.
Yeah. I have been The Suck at keeping up with ye ol' blog lately. I won't offer up any specific excuses, but I really HAVE been busy.
Anyway, I have several new blog stalks that I would like to share with my faithful readers...and I want to mention a few of my oldies but goodies, too.
I will start with Cecily. I have been reading her blog, like, forever. When I wrote my political post a while back, SHE was my inspiration for the bit about a woman's right to choose. I also share a lot of her beliefsas to where our country is headed if we keep allowing the government to do whatever they dang well please without any checks and balances. It has been my recent experience that the conservative right as a whole can act like a ginormous ass when it comes to expressing their disagreement with anyone else's viewpoint. I won't tolerate that here and if anyone goes to her blog from here to call her a murderer, you will be dead to me.
Next up is Calliope. She is cool as hell. She is a full time care giver for her Grandma who is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and is about to begin her battle with cancer. She is also single and thanks to the love and support of her friends in the internet and the generosity of her sperm donor, Churchill, she is expecting her first baby. Her blog is a constant reminder to me that there are still a whole lot of good people in this world.
I have a horrible habit of leaving Nate's blog open and clicking the refresh button at random intervals throughout the day in hopes of an update or a new photo of his incredibly cute daughter, Gwyneth Rose. Their story has been such an inspiration to me. Nate's wife Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis. She was preparing to undergo a double lung transplant when they found out they were pregnant. Gwyneth was born 15+ weeks early and shortly after her birth, Tricia got her much needed new lungs. Gwyneth is doing wonderfully while Tricia is now battling a type of lymphoma that is related to her transplant. Have some tissues handy if you decide to read their whole story; you will need them.
If you, yourself are or are personally acquainted with a Mormon, you will laugh your butt off at this blog. It is like a slightly magnified version of any of my Mormon friends:) Not only is she hilariously ridiculous, she has frequent super cool giveaways. I have yet to win one of them...but I continue to read, anyway.
If you need blatant proof that God is still performing miracles, go here. She is about to give birth to a baby boy that she was told would not make it to term. Every week that passes just reinforces my faith that there is a God and that He is good. Not only is she super talented at gestating babies, she is funny and takes the most gorgeous portraits I have ever seen.
If I am in a particularly foul mood, I just go here. Other people's stupidity never fails to make me chuckle.
And last but not least...I am utterly addicted to this guy's blog. Matt is raising his baby daughter Madeline, alone. His wife unexpectedly died of a pulmonary embolism as she was getting ready to head to the NICU to see her baby for the first time since she was born. Terribly tragic, but he seems to be an incredible father. He is totally honoring his wife's memory in the way he is raising his daughter.
Well, that wraps up this week's roundup. I know that the diversity is probably a bit more...diverse than you might have been expecting...but I am a complicated girl. I guess you already knew that, though;)
I have been tagged by my good friend, Aaron. I would say that I don't often do these things, but I did this very one just a couple of months ago. So as not to bore you, I will try to come up with 7 MORE random or weird facts about myself. (Seriously? Don't you guys already know enough about me??)
I am supposed to follow rules...like posting the rules and tagging 7 more people and linking to their blogs. In the spirit of anarchy, I am not going to do any of those things. Instead, I am just going to issue an open invitation. If you are reading this and you would like to participate...by all means, do; and if you are not reading this...then...ummmm; don't.
1. I actually like going to the gym. This revelation came as a great shock to me. Before I started going to the gym on a regular basis, I thought of exercise as a form of cruel and unusual punishment; now I am sad on the days I don't go.
2. If you use a word incorrectly when you are speaking to me, I will correct you. Especially if I have been drinking wine. I know that it makes me seem like a jerk because it is just a jerky thing to do; I just can't help myself.
3. Passive aggressive behavior makes me want to punch people. Seriously. Just take your balls out of your purse and tell me what you really think.
4. I voted for Obama. Despite the propaganda that many of my well meaning friends and relations have tried to impart in me I had to stand by my own convictions, thankyouverymuch. My decision does not render me morally bankrupt nor does it make me stupid.
5. I like to put curry ketchup on my macaroni and cheese. Do they even sell curry ketchup in the United States? If they don't, they really should.
6. I visualize myself falling every time I walk down a flight of stairs.Feel free to psycho-analyze this. It started when my kids were babies and I would have these horrible flashes of myself falling and accidentally tossing my baby out of an open window or breaking their little femur or smashing their heads into the wall. I am sure that it stemmed from a fear of hurting them by mistake...but now that all of my kids are big enough to fall down the stairs all by themselves, I still do it.
(I seriously hope that nobody else asks me to do this meme ever, EVER again. I am scraping the bottom of the barrel of my craziness for you and there are some things that you just don't need to know about me;)
7. I can not STAND to hear more than one person talking at a time. Whether it is just hearing my kids all talk at once or hearing the murmur of voices in a public place, it nearly sends me right over the edge. My heart races and if it is bad enough, I will feel nauseous or light-headed.
So...there you have it. Seven more reasons to consider me certifiable:)