What Ifs?

One of my friends inside the interwebs (whom I might finally get to meet in real life this summer!) asked a very good question on her own blog. "Is there a one moment or decision that you wonder how your life would be different if you’d taken the other path? Where do you stand on not-exactly-regrets-more-like-what-ifs?"

I have certainly wondered what would have become of me and my life if I would have continued my (very) lonely existence as a pet store manager who had a propensity for self destructive behaviour.

I tended to dream big and would become overwhelmed by the logistical challenges of tending to those dreams, so I did what was safe. I worked my way up from sales clerk/animal care person to store manager in just 2 very short years. I used that as my excuse for losing my ambition to further myself in other ways. In ways that really mattered.

On the surface, things looked OK, I guess. I had a steady paycheck, had bought my first new car (A little, black VW Fox...gosh, I loved that car) and I was living in an apartment with my boyfriend and our 42billion pets. When it was decided that we wanted very different things out of life (I wanted babies and he wanted...oh, I don't even know what he wanted...to stay cool?) he moved to South Carolina and I lost my ever loving, little mind.

I bounced from room mate to room mate and found myself in more and more toxic situations before I decided that if I didn't want to off myself, that I needed to get the hell out of there...and so I did.

Yeah...so I ran away from my hometown at the ripe age of (almost) 21 to follow the Grateful Dead. (Can I tell you a secret? I don't even LIKE the Grateful Dead!) So anyway, what began as a horrible misadventure in a big blue Dodge van with a couch in the back ended with me, That Guy I (eventaully) Married and four minions that I wouldn't trade anything for.

I will admit that I have wondered the "what ifs" but I don't think anything would ever be able to come close to this. We have had our fair share of ups and downs over the past 17+ years but for the most part? Life is Good.

 

Comments

[Momto4hoggs]

Good post!!!! I knew some of that, but not all. It is hard to take back the regrets, because often, they helped us gain the greatness!

[justdawn]

Amen to that, LL!